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Original Slash Fic Recommendations

So I'm making my very own slash fic recommendation list. What can I say? I'm tired of writing out the same stuff over and over and over...and leaving stuff out half the time! Just a disclaimer: I'm nowhere near as well-read in this department as many others, and I'm sure most of my "recs" have been rec'd elsewhere many times before. This is just a list of the best that I've read.  Finally, this is a work in progress, so it's subject to change.

~~ Fantasy ~~

"The God Eaters" by Jesse Hajicek
SummaryIn a world where science and magic work hand in glove, and the totalitarian theocracy suppresses any independent exploration of either, shy intellectual Ashleigh Trine and tough assassin for hire Kieran Trevarde are sent to Churchrock, a brutal prison facility where those with ‘Talents’ are experimented on by members of the all-powerful White Watch. But it’s that very environment which helps Ash discover an inner strength, and Kieran an ability to trust, which allows them to co-operate against the regime and ultimately to release the awesome power each holds within himself.             
Tags:  fantasy, western, action/adventure, totalitarian government, prison, magic, gods, violence, gunslingers, Wild West
Linkshttp://chartreuse.studiowhippingboy.com/g_e_index.html or http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2610279/1/The_God_Eaters
My Comments:  a fantasy, an adventure, a love story, a tale of redemption. Absolutely excellent - easily one of the best m/m novels I've ever read. Although I must admit, I put off reading this for a long time because I felt kinda iffy about the whole totalitarian government/fantasy/Wild West combo. So let me say, don't make the same mistake that I did. Everything about this story just works. So go read it!

Tygati (tygati)
Links:  http://tygati.livejournal.com/224679.html#cutid1  or http://www.fictionpress.com/u/547790/Tygati
My Comments:  This wonderful author has a TON of free fic on her LJ, mostly short-ish stories or series of short stories set within the same world.  Pretty much everything is light-hearted/fluff of the fantasy or scifi variety.  So think fae, fairytales, dragons, princes/kings, demons, shapeshifters, spacemen, etc etc, and definite happy endings. Also has some of it self-published on LuLu. Very similar feel/style as Megan Derr's work, if you are familiar with that. I haven't read nearly everything yet, and what I have read and enjoyed the most is more a reflection of my own personal preferences (YAY DRAGONS) rather than any indication of quality. (Everything I've read has been good and enjoyable, so I'd recommend you pick whatever sounds interesting to you.)

"Dragon Isles" Universe by Tygati
Summary ("The Dragon Isles"):  Far to the east lay the mysterious Dragon Isles - none have seen the creatures they are named for in so long that their existence is now naught but myth. A young man fleeing for his life reaches the Dragon Isles and what he finds will change not only his life, but his entire world.
Tags:  complete, fantasy, dragon shifters, magic, medieval, royalty, fluff/light-hearted
My Comments:  What fun. I love dragons, especially m/m dragon shifters! And these stories are just so charming. Relatively short pieces, all interconnected in the same world, many with crossover characters, but the focus of each story is actually on a different couple. Wonderfully enjoyable if you are looking for short and sweet.
"Tales of the Tempest" series by lytrigian (lytrigian)
SummaryHere's Chapter 1 of "The Rising Storm", the introductory novella to my Tales of the Tempest series. This is sword-and-sorcery -- generally more sword than sorcery, but both are there. Like most fantasy, it's sometime violent, sometimes funny, and sometimes sexy. The sexy parts are homoerotic. I'm not comfortable with the label "yaoi" since I normally think of that as a genre of manga and anime, but I'm using the tag because I think yaoi fans will like what I have to offer. It's gay-oriented fantasy, and if that's the kind of thing you like I hope you enjoy it.
Tags:  fantasy, action/adventure, series, sword-fighting, royalty, magic
My Comments:  This series is a relatively quick and easy read, about the life and adventures of a young prince gifted with unique magical/fighting abilities. After the initial introductory novella, each additional story chronicles another mini-adventure in the young prince and his companion's travels. So while I definitely wouldn't call this a WIP, as each story is completed, the overall series is left open to limitless possibilities for the author to add more stories in the future. Generally speaking, this series has a somewhat similar feel to it that much of Megan Derr's work has -- on the shorter side, relatively light, adventure-focused, a tad underdeveloped, but totally entertaining. I can't wait to see where the characters' adventures take them in the future.

Ann Somerville
Linkshttp://logophilos.net/free-original-fiction/ and https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/logophilos
My Comments:  My favorite stories from this author are, unfortunately, no longer free, but available for purchase at Smashwords.  However, I couldn't help but add her to my fic list because I originally fell in love with her work when so much of it was free.  I'll also just say that even though my two personal favorites have been removed, there are still a number of quality free stories left on her site to choose from (e.g. "Slipping Under").

"Darshian Tales" series by Ann Somerville
Summary for "Kei's Gift" (Book 1)War brings Kei, a gentle healer from an isolated village, into collision with Arman, an embittered, honourable general, a man trapped in a loveless marriage and joylessly wedded to duty. The fate of two nations will rest on these two men–and somehow they must not only learn to overcome their own personal difficulties, but bring peace with honour to their countries. If they fail...many will die.
Tags/Warnings:  fantasy, series, war, magic/powers, prisoner of war
Linkhttps://www.smashwords.com/books/view/9527  (can read first 30% for free)
My Comments:  This is perhaps my absolute favorite m/m series of all time.  Top quality work -- excellent technical writing, wonderfully developed and interesting plot, complex and moving characters.  All-around fantastic pick. 

"I Was an Alien Cat Toy" by Ann Somerville
SummaryTemin crash lands on an unexplored planet and gets up front and personal with the natives – who are giant felines. Survival will mean making some unlikely alliances - and some most unusual friendships.
Tags/Warnings:  scifi, cat people, spacemen, violence/rape (not explicit), HFN-type ending (somewhat unresolved)
Linkhttps://www.smashwords.com/books/view/8922  (can read first 20% for free)
My Comments:  Surprisingly good.  When I first read the blurb for this, I was a little on the fence, but when I finally read the story, I was totally blown away.  Again, wonderful writing skills -- all the emotional pain and frustration felt by the human character Temin was wonderfully translated to paper and through that, to the reader.   
"Wyndrah" series by Xenobia
Summary ("Fate" - book 1)Coren Darshaw is a retired pirate and a successful weapons dealer.  He has everything he wants, but what he needs is an extra hand or two to help him with his business and home.  He decides to go to the slave market to purchase a blacksmith and a housekeeper, and instead buys a mysterious young man out of pity.  He is not prepared for the consequences.
Tags/Warnings: fantasy, adventure, series, pirates, family, mpreg, violence, minimal/referenced het content
My Comments:  Loved this. It's quite the epic tale, following the lives and adventures of a single family over time. The Lashran are a race entirely composed of males, split into sires and lifebearers. The story begins when a half-human lifebearer named Lythallendar is sold into slavery by his people, only to be purchased by Coren Darshaw, a human pirate. Thus forms the core family unit whose children and children's children we see in future stories. Although the particular character focus changes from story to story, even "secondary" characters (other family members/friends) still get plenty of screen-time and remain integral in the overall story arc. I love extended stories like this that follow the same group of characters -- it makes for quite the fulfilling experience with a real continuing epic saga feel. Perhaps not the most technically excellent writing compared to some of the other recs on my list, but the enjoyment factor of this series is definitely top notch for me. Interestingly enough, the main reason I picked this story up to begin with was due to my interest in the whole mpreg theme. (And let me say, this series does a great job in that regard -- the mpreg specifics are explained well and come off as quite realistic, in my opinion.)  But the reason I kept reading this series was because there is A LOT more to it than just the mpreg content.  Fantasy, adventure, pirates, and family...(oh my!)  Simply put, these stories are just plain entertaining.

"The Wizard of Bright Isle" series by MomsDarkSecret
"The Wizard of Bright Isle" (Book 1)
"The Royal Wizard" (Book 2)
"The Queen of White Shores" (Book 3, WIP)
SummaryA young man risks his life to save a magical creature and discovers he has the gift to become a wizard. Thrust into a world of magic, politics and intrigue, he finds himself caught up in the struggle for control of a kingdom.
Tags: fantasy, adventure, king/prince, magic, wizards, magic school, friendship, medieval setting, political intrigue, non-explicit
Link: http://www.fictionpress.com/u/446727/MomsDarkSecret
My Comments: I am completely in love with this series! This author has actually been on my radar for quite awhile, but I kept putting off reading anything of hers for some reason…and now that I finally have, I can't believe I waited so long!

This series starts with a young teen, Kieran, who lives as a simple servant on a Lord's estate. While he's walking back home late one night, he happens across a somewhat mythical creature called a "madrin." According to rumor, these rare creatures are vicious killers with magical properties, so when Kieran first sees the animal, he's understandably terrified. However, Kieran soon realizes that the creature is actually more afraid of him than it is dangerous. So when a hunting party comes after the animal, Kieran chooses to risk everything to save the madrin from certain death. As a result of these events, Kieran's entire life is changed forever. He is taken under a royal wizard's care, brought to the capital to begin training as a wizard himself, and eventually plays a crucial role in saving the kingdom from a traitorous plot. It's great stuff, and just the type of fantasy story I love, with wizards, royalty, a couple destined to be together, and a super evil bad guy who gets what's coming to him in the end. It kinda reminds me of Harry Potter and Cinderella all rolled into one. Kinda.

As far as the actual writing goes, I thought it was quite good - nice flow, a pleasure to read, almost no editing mistakes that I noticed. The main characters were very likable (actually I kinda love them), and the plot was definitely a page turner, so to speak. I've totally neglected my schoolwork this weekend because I've been reading this non-stop.

On a final note, I feel the need to let people know that the stories are rated "T" which is basically like PG I guess. So it's pretty much totally non-explicit. I don't want to give anything away, but I will say that there is definitely a m/m romantic relationship, but it takes a while to get there. But if you are patient, it's quite wonderful to watch develop. I admit I'm kind of a perv, but these stories are just so lovely and entertaining that I really didn't miss the lack of porn at all. 

~~ Sci-Fi ~~

Dan Kirk
Link: http://dkstories.gayauthors.org/
My Comments: I am such a fan of Dan Kirk! His stories are definitely the type that I like to go back to from time to time, just for pure enjoyment's sake. He has quite the variety to choose from too: sci-fi, contemporary, high school, time-travel, 80s, magic, etc. All his writing has lots of plot, lots of depth, great main characters and great supporting characters, lots of action/intrigue, etc etc. I think what I like most about his stories, though, are their broad scope - if that's the right way to explain it. What I mean is, there are always these complex, far-reaching themes (save the galaxy, win the war, control the magical world, etc).  I love stories like that -- it's lots of fun when done right. Warnings: Be prepared for the lead character to go through multiple sex partners potentially (depends on the story). Also be prepared for character death. Yikes. That's my only complaint...I wish people didn't die so much. (Again, that depends on the story.)

"Dreams of Humanity" and sequel "Dreams of a Father" by Dan Kirk
Summary: He was designed to take the place of regular human officers on the battlefield. He was born a clone, but raised as a human. Designed and raised for the purpose of fighting and leading in the Great War, Garret Lars must now struggle to find a new purpose in life, and a new dream to fulfill.
Tags/Warnings: scifi, action, series, spaceships, space battles, clones, war, military, politics, multiple sex partners, not exactly HEA
My Comments This is a good choice if you are interested in Star Trek-esque sci-fi (space travel, AI computers, clones), with military/war and political themes mixed in. I enjoyed it immensely, but I have to say the series ends with a bit of an unfinished feeling. (i.e., It feels like there needs to be another sequel, which for all I know, there may be in the future.) Also, I remember it being a little depressing...like it didn't really have a HEA ending. But I don't mean to be a downer; like I said, I thought this was really good, regardless of the mildly depressing factor.

"Do Over" series by Dan Kirk
Summary Have you ever dreamed of the chance to go back in time and change the decisions of the past? Have you ever wondered what would happen if you'd done one little thing differently? Davey Jones drifted through life, never achieving anything major, until he took part in a mad experiment. Like most of us, Davey Jones loved science fiction, so he should have known better than to trust a mad scientist…now he must live his own life over again, but should he, or can he, change anything?
Tags: scifi (minor component), 80s historical, time travel, series, high school/teens, sports/athletes, Cold War, military, politics, Ronald Reagan
My Comments: This series of 4 books is probably my favorite of Dan Kirk's work. The scifi component is really minimal, and pretty much just consists of the time-travel; really, I don't know how to best classify this series...maybe something like high school/80s historical/Cold War/political? What can I say, there's a lot going on. Basically, this series is about a guy (Davey) who's had a rough life, and because he's so desperate for money, signs up for this crazy science experiment where he gets sent back in time, back to his 12 year old self. So he wakes up in his 12 year old body, back in 1981. At first, Davey just tries to make his own life better, which means trying to wrangle his own dysfunctional family and making some different friends at school. But that's just the beginning. The thing that's so great about the first novel, and this series in general, is just how broad and far-reaching it is, and how it incorporates historical events and figures into the story. In the first novel alone, you get lots of high school/sports teams stuff going on, trouble with homophobia/coming out at school, and problems with family; but you've also got historical references/incorporation of the AIDS epidemic, Ronald Reagan's presidency, and the Cold War. Actually, the Cold War turns out to be a huge component in the plotline of the series, so there's lots of political/military components mixed in. Finally, let me just say that the romantic component of this series is really fantastic. One of my all-time favorite m/m couples, in that destined-to-be-together kind of way.

~~ Futuristic Dystopias and/or Post-Apocalyptic ~~

"Pathfinder" by J.A. Jaken
Summary: The young pathfinder Shai desperately needs a genetically suitable partner to prevent his extrasensory talents from running amok. Unfortunately Kalil, one of the town's brutal crime-lords, fits the description.
Tags/Warnings: futuristic dystopia/post-apocalyptic, rape, underage character, abuse, violence
Link: http://slashcity.org/rushlight/orig/pathfinder.htm
My Comments: I'm not sure this is the type of story I'll want to re-read in the future, but it was definitely well-written and fascinating in its own way. I'd warn that there is explicit rape and violence in this story, so it might not be to everyone's tastes.

"The Administration" series by Manna Francis
Summary: There are no bad guys. There are no good guys. There are only better guys, and worse guys. One of the worse guys is Val Toreth. In a world where torture is a legitimate part of the investigative process, he works for the Investigation and Interrogation Division.
One of the better guys is Keir Warrick, a corporate director. His small corporation, SimTech, is developing a 'sim' system which places users in a fully-immersive virtual reality. Their world is the dark future dystopia of New London, where Europe is controlled by a totalitarian bureaucracy, which shares political power with powerful corporations. The oppressive government uses torture, violence and the various Divisions of the feared Department of Internal Security to maintain power. The corporations fight amongst themselves, using lethal force under the euphemism of 'corporate sabotage', uniting only to resist attempts by the Administration to extend its control over them. The series follows Warrick and Toreth, and their families, friends and enemies as they struggle to survive and hope to prosper.

Tags: futuristic dystopia, BDSM, violence (not extensive)
My Comments: Deliciously twisted, seriously excellent series. I think everyone and their mother who's into slash fic has heard of it probably, but hell, it's a classic and there's a reason everyone's heard of it, so I couldn't leave it off the list. The first story ("Mind Fuck") is a bit of a mystery (as in they are solving a crime mystery) -- but the real focus of this series overall is on the "relationship" between the two lead characters, Val and Toreth. The two men are both fucked up in their own ways, and the interplay/powerplays between them are fascinating. The writing is excellent, and the BDSM elements (which aren't usually my thing) are smoking hot. This is another example of a fic that I put off reading for a long time because the blurb didn't really call to me -- big mistake, because the work is top-notch and I really can't recommend it enough. Also, I'd definitely recommend downloading and listening to the first part of "Mind Fuck" as an mp3 from Manna Francis' website. I think she's reading it herself, in her snazzy British accent. It's better than most professional audiobooks I've heard. Honestly, I'd pay cash money for the whole thing in audiobook.

"In The Company of Shadows" by Sonny and Ais
SummaryThis is a series about two people who are thrown together as partners in a secret agency; their mission is to disband rebels who have propagated in a post-war future, but they have to deal with everything that comes with an unlikely partnership as well. Miscommunication, periods of distance, fleeting smiles and learning to trust someone when a person can't even trust himself, these are what they struggle with while still trying to do their jobs. One is a psychopath, called a murderer and monster and generally deemed subhuman by nearly everyone who knows of him; the other is an introvert, cold and emotionless and so lost in thoughts that he would agree that he can be called a monster of inhumanity. But what makes a person human; is it humanity, compassion, or is it simply the ability to reason? Can a monster be human, and general humanity breed monsters? While they learn about each other, they learn about themselves; where their loyalty and morality lies, and how learning to trust another person can be incredibly difficult, bittersweet, and rewarding all at the same time. Join Hsin Liu Vega (aka "Sin") and Boyd Beaulieu as they struggle to find where they fit in a world slowly recovering from war.
Tags/Warnings: futuristic/post-apocalyptic, action, violence, secret government agency, major angst, emotionally stunted characters
Links: http://www.aisylum.com/sonnyais/icos/story.html or http://original.adultfanfiction.net/authors.php?no=1296804148
My Comments: Definitely enjoyable if you are into badass characters and lots of action/violence/shooting type stories. You've got dysfunctional characters, a dystopic world, and lots of messed up situations...it's great stuff. Lots of action, lots of killing, etc. However, I've got to warn you that the characters are pretty complex (read: fucked up) and are prone to wallow in some seriously angsty, repetitive introspection. In fact, I was rather surprised by the amount of angst packed into this otherwise hard-core, action-packed, violence-filled story. Also, let me just say that it is a slow and painful buildup even getting to the sorta-friendship stage between the two main characters - don't even get me started on "romance." But it's definitely worth it.

Ok, so I've been on a big online slash reading craze lately.  And I've noticed a bit of a trend.  For some reason, many authors of online fic can't seem to control themselves from dissing their own work.  I have completely lost track at this point of how many times I have read some version of "I think this chapter sucks, but here it is anyway" or "I started writing this story, and it's total crap."


Ok ok, I guess I could be a little more sympathetic.  I can understand the human tendency to be insecure about one's own work, to feel scared about putting yourself out there in the spotlight and exposing yourself to public criticism.  As such, I can certainly see how someone might feel the need to criticize herself before anyone else gets the chance to do so. 

But give it a rest.  There is a time and a place for all that self-pitying crap, and that's in your diary.  Or on the phone with your best friend.  NOT in the preface to your story where all your potential readers and fans will see. 

Honestly, it's just about the biggest turn-off I can think of when I'm trying to pick something new to read.

Your soap's got GERMS!!

So I just saw a commercial for Lysol's "No-Touch Hand Soap System."  The thing does just what it sounds like: it dispenses soap automatically when you put your hand in front of it, with no touching required.  The tag line for this genius new product is, I kid you not, "Never touch a germy soap pump again."

Seriously??  A battery operated soap pump is going to prevent exposure to germs?  Because I should be scared of germs on my soap-covered soap pump of all places?  I mean, the whole thing is just ridiculous.   

Because I dunno about you, but my soap pump is pretty much covered in soap all the time. 


Nice article

Nice opinion article from CNN:  "Myth of the 'gay lifestyle' justifies bias" by LZ Granderson

My favorite excerpts:

On most mornings, my better half wakes up around 5:30, throws on some sweats and heads to the gym before work.

About a half hour later, I wake up my 13-year-old son, go downstairs to the kitchen to make his breakfast and pack his lunch. Once he's out the door, I brew some coffee and get to work.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you the "gay lifestyle" -- run for your heterosexual lives.


The truth is the only thing all gay people have in common -- you know, besides being gay -- is that we face continuous rhetorical, social and legal attacks for simply existing, thus potentially making something as mundane as bringing a date to a work function a fight-or-flee situation.

We're just as diverse, intolerant, upstanding and tragic as our straight counterparts and unless there is an annual meeting I don't know about, the only item on the much talked-about gay agenda is an abbreviated passage from the Declaration of Independence -- "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."


It's sad. We're such a great nation, still full of great hope and promise and yet we keep being tripped up by ignorance, which leads to fear and then eventually hate. Being gay isn't a choice, but being a bigot certainly is.


Tenebrism (Book 1)
Chiaroscuro (Book 2)
Nocturne (Book 3)
Skiagraphia - (Book 4, WIP)
Obscura - (WIP, Companion novel from Keyd's POV)

Author: Alyn Drasil (teromain)
Tags:  science fiction/fantasy, drama/angst, action, war, royalty (of sorts), magic/powers, culture shock, gay for you, non-explicit, WIP, series
Summary: (Tenebrism) A couple of jerkoff friends daring him to kiss a statue in a graveyard are the least of Alan's problems. Because now the statue is alive. And now there are two of them. And that's only the beginning. slow-moving slash.

My Comments

I am completely in love with this series.  I hate to admit it, but at first I thought the basic premise of "Tenebrism" sounded kinda cliche:  Regular college kid (Alan) kisses a stone statue on a dare, only to have the statue come to life before his eyes.  Turns out, statue guy (Keyd) is actually a warrior from another world whose people are engaged in an epic battle of "light" vs. "dark" which is about to spill over onto Earth.  Been there, done that, right?  WRONG!  There is nothing cliched about this story at all.  Actually, I found it to be quite original, not to mention totally engaging.

First, I just have to say that I found this entire series to be exceedingly well-written.  The overall plot is obviously very well planned out, with excellent pacing and appropriate explanations and revelations at just the right times.  I was never bored, never overly frustrated or disappointed, while at the same time, still able to feel that edge of excited anticipation throughout.  The story has both fantasy and sci-fi elements, and the accompanying world-building is also pretty fantastic, unfolding and integrating very naturally as the story progresses.  So no big info dumps, no ridiculous nonsensical explanations; in fact, I found the details and explanations regarding Keyd, his people, and their powers, to actually be very rational, complete, and believable. 

The characters themselves are also well-described and well-rounded, and they actually behave and develop over time like you would expect in reality.  There are also a number of secondary characters who are quite enjoyable and really help add variety and depth to the overall story, rather than just take up meaningless space.  The entire series is told from Alan's POV, and as a narrator, he's pretty great.  He just tells his story with a nice sense of humor, and with no overly excessive internal angsting or boring landscape details or other crap like that. 

Of course, the romance between Alan and Keyd was also a big highlight for me.  Neither of these men have ever been in a relationship with another man before, so for that reason, among others, their own romance is extremely (and believably) slow-moving.  Their hesitations and fears are all very realistic, they both make mistakes along the way, and change isn't instantaneous by any means --  all of which really help to add credibility to the entire situation.   

You know, I've found that some fantasy stories can be a little too ambitious for their own good -- that it's easy enough to have lots of characters, lots of intrigues, basically just lots going on, and it's also pretty easy to drop the ball and tell a story like this without the necessary details or explanations to back it all up, thus leaving the reader disappointed or confused or unfulfilled in the end.  And sadly, that's the kind of story I've been seeing a lot of recently.  Which is exactly why the "Light and Shadow" series has been such an overwhelming delight to read.  I know that Alyn Drasil isn't going to disappoint me here.  She's got a plan, and it's a good one, and her first 3 stories are proof of that.  I just can't wait to see what happens in the end.  Highly recommended, rated 4.5/5.

A Glee parody: Say a Little Prayer, found at Woolf &Wilde


Dichotomy: Companion (Book 1)
Dichotomy: Soldier (Book 2)
Dichotomy: Majesty (Book 3, WIP)
Dichotomy: Evan (Companion side-story, WIP)

: writing duo Rebecca ([info]ryui) and Cassandra ([info]cassiopeia13= Fading Madness Productions
URLhttp://www.fictionpress.com/u/348601/Fading_Madness_Productions or fadingmadness
Tags:  fantasy, drama/angst, action/adventure, intrigue, royalty, slave, magic/powers, WIP, series
Summary: (Book 1) Two powerful men: one property, one a great lord, and both haunted by specters of the past, are forced together by a society crumbling at the edges. To survive, they must find trust, friendship, and perhaps something more. Slash, Romance, Adventure

My Review...Collapse )
I've been on a big free reads kick lately, so I thought I'd give a rundown on what I've been reading the last month and how it's been going.  This is my "Eh" post, which pretty much means I didn't think the stories listed here were terrible, but I wasn't really a huge fan either.

Disclaimer:  Note that everything here was initially found via a recommendation someplace or another, so obviously other people have liked these stories, even if I did not.  This is just my two cents.

"The Eh" reviews...Collapse )

searching for the perfect theme...

I am completely that person that all store clerks hate who buys $200 worth of clothes at the mall, only to change my mind later and return everything but, like, one shirt. I'm the one who holds up the line at Ben & Jerry's b/c I have to try 4 different flavors and then the first one again (just to make sure) before I decide. I'm the one who asks the waitress what her favorite dishes are, then which are the most popular in general, then finally asks for more time to make up my mind about what I want for dinner. When I was in college, it would take me days to pick out my schedule, then I would register for the absolute maximum number of credits so that I could attend around 23 hours of class the first week before making my final decision on which 15 credits I wanted to keep.

I know, I'm totally ridiculous. And I can't make up my mind for shit.

God, I HATE making decisions!

So yeah, I'm just going to change my LJ theme around every day or so until I make up my mind. Hopefully that will occur in the near future b/c I'm making myself crazy. Which I know, is pretty pathetic. I just can't help myself.


The day I turned 15, I dragged my mom out to the DMV and drove the car home with my brand new Learner's Permit.  Now, don't tell, but I'd actually been driving around the backroads even before that.  God I was so excited to finally be legal, even if I did have to have my mom with me in that first year.  The day I turned 16, we trekked back to the DMV and went away with my honest-to-god, drive-all-by-myself **Driver's License**.  I was pretty thrilled. 

Ok, so I'm just about to turn 27 this month.  That means that I've been driving (legally) for almost 12 freaking years!!  And in all that time, I'd NEVER gotten a ticket and NEVER had an accident, not even a bump in the grocery store parking lot.  Seriously.  I only drive 5mph over the limit on the interstate, I always make a complete stop at stop signs, I use my side-view mirrors, I always look before I back up, hell, I even look both ways at intersections when there's a green light.  I AM SUCH A GOOD DRIVER DAMMIT!!

But fucking hell, I've gotten TWO traffic tickets since Christmas!!  DAMMIT!

Ticket #1:  Driving home from the grocery store, I'm only about half a mile from my house when I get pulled over.  No clue why.  Copper says I ran the last stop light.  Um, I'm like "no way."  Seriously, I really didn't.  It was definitely yellow when I went through, and there was no way I could have stopped.  Didn't matter.  I got a ticket anyway.  Honestly, the only reason that copper even pulled me over, I am convinced, is because of wrong place, wrong time.  It was Saturday night 10pm on a main road running right near downtown, which happens to be slightly on the sketchy side and full of bars.  There are lots of cops in the area on the weekend and they are always pulling over drunks.  But seriously, like he couldn't have just let me go after he saw I wasn't a drunk?  Of course not. 
ResultI paid the damned ticket.  $177.01

Ticket #2:  Driving down the interstate back to visit my parents, I get pulled over.  Again, no idea why.  Speed limit is 65mph, but I ALWAYS set my cruise control at ~70-71(ish), which let me tell you, is not something that any state trooper is going to pull you over for, ever.  Copper says he clocked me going 80mph.  I didn't even know what to say.  I told him about the cruise control, I told him I've never gotten a speeding ticket, blah blah.  He wasn't very friendly or understanding.  (Honestly, I don't even think that many people get tickets for going 80, so I guess it was just my lucky day.)  Anyway, I got my ticket and continued on my way home, totally pissed about the whole situation.  As so happens, when I was home, my mom sent my car out to get the tires changed and the A/C fixed.  And guess what they found?  My car undercarriage full of ACORNS.  Yes, acorns.  Apparently some demon squirrel had been storing his Y2K+10 food supply in every nook and cranny beneath my car.  The mechanic said he's never seen anything like it.  Turns out the acorns had gotten sucked up into the fans and wiring, which was causing all sorts of malfunctions, including the A/C, the taillights, and (*light bulb on*) the cruise control.  Un-freakin-believable.
Result:  Still pending.  I'm planning to go to traffic court and plead my case: Speeding due to faulty squirrel storage.